Hi, I never posted fanfiction on this wikia before so I'm posting it on my blog. I hope that's all right. Fanfics are posted on the actual Loud House Wikia website, including this fanfic I hope you'll read and enjoy. If not, where can I post this?
Summary: Luan Loud tells her sisters and Lincoln this story about a swearing parrot. No swear words will be featured. This is based on a real joke but I am going to tell it through Luan since she's the comedic one.
Rated K+ Ala-Prima
Comments are greatly appreciated but comment only if you want to.
Lincoln and nine of his sisters are in the living room, sitting on or around the couch watching T.V. Then Luan quickly comes down the stairs and into the living room and turns off the T.V.
"LUAN!" Lincoln and all the sisters who can talk shout at her.
"Guys," says Luan, "I have a joke I want to share with you!"
"Again?" says Lori.
"Your last three jokes weren't funny at all!" laments Lola.
"But this one will knock your socks off!" says Luan. "I guarantee you're going to get a good laugh out of this one!"
"I highly doubt it," says Luna.
"Well," says Lincoln, "though Lola's kind of right, I am curious and I'm always up for a good laugh. So I would like to know what you got."
"Okay fine," says Lori, "But you have five minutes and then we watch TV again!"
"Okay okay," says Luan.
Luan goes on to say, "So did you hear the one about the swearing parrot?"
"Uh Luan," says Lincoln, "I'm not sure we should hear a story about swearing. And mom and dad really don't like it when we use bad language and we will get severily punished if we're caught."
"Relax," says Luan, "I'm not going to use any actual cuss words, I would never do that! But please, just hear me out, you'll love this!"
Luan goes on to say:
"So a boy named John wants a pet and decides he wants a parrot. So he goes into a pet store to buy one. He asks the owner if he has any parrots.
"The owner says 'Well, I have this one parrot, but I don't know if you really want this one, he's been brought back to the pet store more than once.'
"'Why's that?' asks John.
"'Because, well, lets say he has a foul mouth.' says the owner. 'Or rather, a foul beak!'
"'Well, he is a bird,' says John, and don't birds speak fowl language, right?'
"That's not the punch-line though. But anyway, the owner says, 'Well, this one speaks foul language. In other words he swears.
"'I still want him,' says John.
"'You sure?' asks the owner.
"'Don't worry,' says John, 'I'll teach this parrot to stop using foul language.'
"The owner agrees and says, 'Okay, your call. And have fun with it because others tried to get him to stop but he wouldn't.'
"'Leave it to me,' says John.
"So John buys the parrot and takes him home. And just like the pet owner warned, the parrot starts swearing, using foul language, and says rude words. John nicely tries to tell the parrot that it's wrong to use bad words and tries to teach him to use proper language. But the parrot continues to swear. John again tries to tell the parrot it's wrong to swear and is a little more serious. But the parrot just keeps swearing and cursing and using rude language.
"John gets more impatient and slaps the parrot on the beak and agressively tells him to stop swearing and that it's not funny and it's not okay. But the parrot just keeps on swearing and swearing.
"Finally, John has had it and takes his parrot and puts him in the kitchen freezer."
The Loud kids quietly react to this, well some say "Oooh" or "Whoa!"
Luan continues "So John closes the freezer door with his parrot inside. Meanwhile the parrot keeps on swearing and swearing and swearing. And then he suddenly stops.
"Two hours later, John realizes he put his parrot in the freezer and left him there. He then says 'OH NO, I KILLED MY PARROT!'
"So John rushes back to his freezer and immediately opens the freezer. He finds his parrot is still alive but unexpectedly hears his parrot say to him frantically 'OKAY, I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR SWEARING AND CUSSING AND USING FOUL LANGUAGE AND BEING RUDE! I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY AND I WON'T EVER SWEAR AGAIN!'
"John is taken aback by this and asks his parrot, 'What made you want to stop all of a sudden?'
"And the parrot, pointing one of his wings out to his side, asks John, 'John, what did that turkey do?'"
When the Loud Kids realize what Luan was talking about, they get what she said and all burst out laughing! Even Lucy cannot resist and laughs! They cannot stop laughing.
When Lynn Sr and Rita Loud come along, they ask the children, "What is so funny."
Lincoln answers, "Luan just told us this really hilarious joke!"
"It was one of the funniest things I've ever heard!" says Lori.
"Yeah, even I couldn't resist!" says Lucy.
"One of the best jokes I ever heard!" says Lynn.
"Me too!" says Luna.
"Mom, Dad," says Lincoln, "You gotta hear this one!"
The kids continue laughing.
"Okay," says Rita, "what is this funny joke?"
Luan goes, "This is a story about the swearing parrot."
Lynn Sr stops her and says, "Hold it there, kid. You didn't use any cuss words did you?"
"You know how we are about swearing in this household," says Rita, "and you know the penalty for doing so."
"Don't worry, Mom and Dad, "There are no actual cuss words in this, I don't even know what cuss words were used!"
"It's true," says Lincoln, "she didn't use any swear words."
"No she didn't, says some of the other sisters.
"Okay then," says Lynn Sr., "Do tell us."
Luan says again, "So John wanted a pet and he wanted a parrot..."
Author's Note: I learned this joke back in 2004. It is still one of the funniest and best jokes I've ever heard! A parrot swears, then gets put in the freezer, where he stops swearing. And then when John comes to get him, the parrot asks him what the frozen turkey did to end up in the freezer, seeing how parrots and turkeys are birds! So you got it?
I not only hope you liked this but found it funny too!