[BACKDROP OF ROYAL WOODS MIDDLE SCHOOL; CUTS TO LYNN IN CLASS]
Mrs. McIntosh: If X equals 4 and Y equals 13, what is the answer?
[LYNN RAISES HAND]
Mrs. Mcintosh: Lynn, can you please tell the class the answer?
Lynn: May… may I please go to the bathroom???
Mrs. McIntosh: No, you may not go to the bathroom! Can’t you see I’m in the middle of teaching a class here! Because you interrupted my class, you earn detention for the night!
Mrs. McIntosh (yelling): NO EXCUSES IN MY CLASSROOM!!! (to class) Anyways, any other answers?
[ALFRED RAISES HAND]
Alfred: The answer is 52…
Mrs. McIntosh: Alright, see you guys tomorrow. Oh, and Alfred, that is correct, and that’s another A for you! (to Lynn) As for you, Lynn, go directly to the detention room right now.
Lynn: Yes, ma’am.
[SCENE CUTS TO DETENTION ROOM]
Lynn: Ugh! I hate detention so much! No football games, no playing with Lincoln, no talking to Lucas, no anything!
Jacob: I know, right, Lynn?
Lynn: Yes, and that madman Mrs. McIntosh sent me here just for asking to go to the bathroom in the middle of her class!
Sammy: Mrs. McIntosh is insane! She gets me into detention pretty much every day for talking in her class! And I really hate the fact how she adores Alfred more than anyone else.
Lynn: Life must be terrible for you. I’m sorry, Sammy.
Sammy: It’s okay. My mom manages to get me out of detention most of the time anyways.
Jacob (scared): Guys, I think Mrs. McIntosh is coming in right now!
[LYNN, JACOB, AND SAMMY SCREAM; MRS. MCINTOSH COMES IN]
Mrs. McIntosh: Hello, and I will be watching the detention room today. Nobody talks, asks to go to the bathroom, goof off, or ANYTHING until tomorrow morning, okay?
Lynn, Jacob, and Sammy (scared): Okay, we will follow your orders, ma’am.
Mrs. McIntosh: Good! If anybody goofs off, they will get another day in detention, got it? Oh, and to keep yourself busy, I brought a week’s worth of homework. [HANDS OUT HOMEWORK TO EVERYONE] (yelling) AND DO IT WELL!!!
[LYNN, JACOB, AND SAMMY SIGH]
Lynn: I could never do this much homework over the course of 10 years!
Jacob: More like a millennium!
Mrs. McIntosh (yelling): SHUSH UP AND GET RIGHT TO WORK!!!
Lynn, Jacob, and Sammy (unenthusiastic): Fine.
[LYNN, JACOB, AND SAMMY TRY TO DO HOMEWORK]
Sammy: I… CAN’T… TAKE IT!!!
Jacob: What is this, Advanced Calculus? We’re in Pre-Algebra!
Lynn: Besides, I can’t miss the Ultimate Bowl tonight, the biggest football game in the world!
Mrs. McIntosh: Do your homework now, (yelling) OR THERE WILL BE AN EXTRA WEEK OF DETENTION FOR ALL OF YOU!!!
Lynn (whispering): How will we be able to finish all this homework before the Ultimate Bowl starts in four hours?
Sammy: We need someone like Alfred or John to do this! (whispering) Or a calculator?
Jacob (whispering): I always have two spare calculators with me. But please don’t let Mrs. McIntosh find out, or she will all turn us to human pretzels!
Lynn: That’s what my sister Lori says when she finds us in her room!
Mrs. McIntosh: What does your sister say that describes me, Lynn!?
Lynn (worried): That you’re the best teacher ever???
Mrs. McIntosh: That’s creepy. (yelling) NOW GET BACK TO WORK!!!
[JACOB HANDS CALCULATORS TO SAMMY AND LYNN]
Lynn (to Jacob, whispering): Mrs. McIntosh better not know about this!
Jacob (whispering): Remember, use your calculators under your desks at all times!
[LYNN, JACOB, AND SAMMY TRY TO WORK, THEN STOP AFTER 10 SECONDS]
Sammy (whispering): What? These calculators can’t solve problems this complicated!
Jacob (whispering): My bad. I forgot to bring scientific calculators!
Sammy: Don’t worry, our phones have scientific calculators in them!
Lynn and Jacob: Hooray!
Mrs. McIntosh: What are you saying hooray for?
Lynn, Sammy, and Jacob (nervously): That we’re here?
Mrs. McIntosh (yelling): ENOUGH DIDDYDALLYING, GET TO WORK!!!
[LYNN, JACOB, AND SAMMY BEGIN TO WORK; THEN MONTAGE LASTING 30 SECONDS]
Lynn, Sammy, and Jacob: Done!
Mrs. McIntosh: Wow, you guys and gal finished it faster than I thought! (yelling) AND I HOPE YOU ALL DIDN’T USE ANY CALCULATOR!
Lynn, Sammy, and Jacob (nervously): Uhh, no, we didn’t…
Mrs. McIntosh (yelling): I have to go out to dinner tonight with my sister, because she’s in town. I will be back in an hour and a half, and whatever you do, (yelling) DON’T ESCAPE!!!
[MRS. MCINTOSH LEAVES]
Lynn: Let’s escape so I can watch the Ultimate Bowl! And you can do your stuff!
Sammy: But first, we need to hatch a plan. How will be be able to leave before Mrs. McIntosh comes back?
Lynn: Simple! We just call our parents to come back up!
Sammy: But my parents are supposed to be at my brother's violin practice
Jacob: And there are still people at this school!
Sammy: As well as all the security cameras around the school!
Jacob: Worst of all, (screaming) THERE ARE POLICE WATCHING THE FRONT DOOR!!!
Lynn: Okay, all of those will need some working around for our plan to succeed. But don’t worry, my brother makes fantastic plans all the time, and I learned a lot about making plans from him.
Jacob and Sammy: Good, do you have any paper?
Lynn: I have a journal in my backpack. We can use it to create our master plan to escape.
[LYNN GETS INTO BACKPACK; GETS OUT HER JOURNAL]
Sammy: Eww, a fashion journal! Isn’t that for, like, girly girls? I thought you were into sports!
Lynn: That was hand-me-down from my big sister Leni. Only a family as big as mine would understand this.
Jacob: Why can’t you get your own journal then?
Lynn: Nevermind that, I’ll tell you about it later! Right now, we have to plan! [DRAWS SCHOOL MAP]
Sammy: Mrs. McIntosh locked the door and she brought her key with her!
Lynn: No problem, we can just use scissors. I use them all the time to unlock doors when I’m trying to get in my room when Lucy’s writing her poems.
Jacob: So we got that covered. But how will be able to get past the security cameras? They’re all over the school!
Lynn: I know where all the cameras are and how we can get by them. [DRAWS SECURITY CAMERA LOCATIONS ON THE SCHOOL MAP] Remember, just lay low whenever you’re near a camera.
Sammy: How about the people still in the building, like Principal Margaret?
Lynn: I could get her to leave!
Jacob: How are you getting her to do that?
Lynn: I could pretend to be a teacher, call her, and say that they are serving free bologna at her favorite restaurant in the cafeteria!
Sammy: Why bologna? And they aren’t stupid enough to fall for it!
Lynn: It’s her favorite food, and my little sister Lisa taught me how to make a fake IP address, and my older sister Luan gave me a voice disguiser, which I always bring just in case.
Jacob: Good enough! But how will be able to get past the cops guarding the front door!
Lynn: It’s simple. Every Thursday night, the cafeteria serves free donuts from 5 to 5:30 PM to staff members that are still at school. We’re lucky tonight is Thursday night, otherwise, we can never get past those cops!
Jacob and Sammy: But how will we get home?
Lynn: You all have your phones, right? So, we can just call them and hide in the bushes until they come pick us up.
Sammy: So, are we ready to take out the plan?
Lynn: Yes! Come with me guys, it’s time for a detention break!
[LYNN, JACOB, AND SAMMY BEGIN THE ESCAPE]
Jacob: I’ve got scissors, Lynn. Here, you can use them. [GIVES LYNN SCISSORS]
Lynn: Thanks, Jacob! I knew I could count on you! [UNLOCKS DOOR; GIVES JACOB BACK SCISSORS] Now to get past those security cameras. [SHOWS JACOB AND SAMMY THE SCHOOL MAP] Remember the camera locations, okay?
[LYNN, JACOB, AND SAMMY SNEAK PAST SECURITY CAMERAS; MONTAGE LASTS 10 SECONDS]
Lynn: Now where’s my voice disguiser? [CHECKS BACKPACK; GETS OUT VOICE DISGUISER] Aha, there it is!
Jacob: Looks more complicated than I thought.
Lynn: You can’t just change your voice just like that. You have to tweak the settings to get the right voice you want.
Lynn: Gotta go!
[LYNN RUNS INTO PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE; PRINCIPAL MARGARET FINDS OUT SHE IS IN THERE]
Principal Margaret: Lynn Loud, what are you doing in my office?
Lynn: [TWEAKS SETTINGS ON VOICE DISGUISER] (nervous) No, I’m Mrs. Warburton, the 7th grade history teacher! I was going to announce something on the loudspeaker…
Principal Margaret: Well, you and Lynn Loud certainly do look alike, that’s for sure!
Lynn (nervously): I know, right? [RUNS TO LOUDSPEAKER] There is free bologna from Il Bologna Shoppe in the cafeteria right now!
Principal Margaret: I thought tonight was free donut night. But I can never pass an opportunity to get FREE BOLOGNA! [RUNS TO CAFETERIA]
[LYNN RUNS OUT OF PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE]
Jacob and Sammy: How did it go?
Lynn: Everything went according to plan, but it was really close. Principal Margaret found out I was in her office, and she thought it was me, but I told her it was Mrs. Warburton. Surprisingly, she believed me.
Sammy: Close indeed! Now to go to the front entrance! (to Lynn) What time is it?
Lynn: It is 4:57, Sammy.
Jacob: 3 more minutes until free donuts! I definitely want one!
Lynn: You can’t just go into the cafeteria like that, they’ll find out you escaped from detention! Besides, I’ll reward you with a donut tomorrow for your hard work.
Cops (excited): FREE DONUTS!!! [COPS RUN TO CAFETERIA]
Sammy: Umm, I think the free donuts thing starts 3 minutes early.
Lynn: I just think they’re getting there a little early to get in front of the line. You know, the free donut rush. Anyways, let’s get out quietly.
[LYNN, JACOB, AND SAMMY SNEAK PAST THE FRONT DOOR]
Jacob: Now that we escaped from the school, where are we going to hide?
Lynn: (sighs) Like I said, the bushes.
[LYNN, JACOB, AND SAMMY HIDE IN BUSHES]
Jacob: Thank Heavens we escaped, Lynn! If it hadn’t been for you, we would never have escaped this prison!
Lynn: Hey Jacob, can you please get your fat off of me. Not trying to offend you, but it’s kinda disgusting.
Jacob: I’m not fat, I’m fluffy!
Sammy: Our phones are in your backpack, right Lynn?
Lynn: Yep, they are. [GRABS OUT BACKPACK; LYNN, JACOB; AND SAMMY REACH FOR PHONES]
Jacob and Sammy: Thanks, Lynn.
Lynn: No problem!
[LYNN CALLS HER PARENTS]
Mrs. Loud: We’re sorry, Lynn, but we’re at the beauty pageant tryouts right now. We will pick you up in one hour.
Lynn: AN HOUR!!! I just escap… I mean, I can’t miss the Ultimate Bowl tonight!
Mrs. Loud: Don’t worry, the Ultimate Bowl is not until 8 PM anyways.
Lynn: I’ll deal with it, I guess. [LYNN HANGS UP PHONE] (to Jacob and Sammy) My parents aren’t going to pick me up for an HOUR.
Jacob: Aww, that sucks, Lynn. I’m sorry, I’d love to hang out with you, but my mom will be here any time now.
Lynn: It’s okay, Jacob. And I’m sorry for telling you to get your fat off me.
[JACOB’S MOM PULLS UP]
Jacob: It’s alright. Anyways, there’s my mom! Bye, Lynn!
Lynn: Bye, Jacob! (to Sammy) Well, that makes the two of us.
[SAMMY’S DAD PULLS UP]
Sammy: Actually, my dad just pulled up. He said my brother's violin practice was cancelled today. Sorry, Lynn.
Lynn (to audience): In a family like this, sometimes it takes about 30 minutes to an hour to get picked up from school because one of my sisters always has an activity. The worst example was when I got picked up 5 hours late because Luan had standup.
Mr. Loud: I’m sorry I picked you up 5 hours late. Luan had standup, and there were hundreds of people attending! Is that craz…
Lynn: Ugh, dad! I missed the big baseball game! Also, Lucas really wanted to play with me, but I couldn’t because I wasn’t home!
Mr. Loud: I promise this will never happen again.
Lynn: It better!
Lynn: (sighs) I can’t wait to live on my own one day.
[TIMECARD: ONE HOUR LATER; LYNN’S MOM PULLS UP]
Mrs. Loud: We’re here, Lynn! For the 115th time, we are sorry you didn’t get picked up the right time.
Lynn: It’s alright, but can you please try to pick me up when school ends?
Mrs. Loud: We will try our best, honey.
Lynn: Sounds good. [SEES MRS. MCINTOSH’S CAR IN THE DISTANCE] Phew, that was really, really close.
[MRS. MCINTOSH PULLS UP TO SCHOOL; WALKS IN DETENTION ROOM]
Mrs. McIntosh (yelling): THOSE DARNED WHIPPERSNAPPERS ESCAPED! I AM SO GOING TO GET THEM BACK SOON!
Cop #1: Actually, we’re getting your back.
[MRS. MCINTOSH GETS HANDCUFFED]
Mrs. McIntosh: Why? How so? I did nothing!
Cop #1: You were punishing your students for absolutely no reason.
Cop #2: As well as failure for watching the kids in detention like you were supposed to.
Mrs. McIntosh: They deserved detention! They weren’t doing what I told them to do in my class!
Cop #1: Yeah, for what? Asking to go to the bathroom in the middle of class! (Cop #1 and #2 laugh)
Mrs. McIntosh: GRRRRRRRR...
[COP #1 AND #2 PUT MRS. MCINTOSH IN POLICE CAR; POLICE CAR DRIVES AWAY FROM SCHOOL]
[BACKDROP OF LOUD HOUSE; LYNN AND LUCAS ARE WATCHING THE ULTIMATE BOWL]
Lynn: Ahh, Lucas, don’t you just love the Ultimate Bowl?
Lucas: Absolutely, Lynn. And it’s even better when I get to spend it with you.
Lynn: Aww, thank you. Anyways, who do you want to win? Seahawks or Broncos!
Lucas: Seahawks, definitely.
Lynn: I’m with you, bro. Let’s party on!
Lynn and Lucas: [SLAMS CUPS TOGETHER] Cheers!
[LYNN AND LUCAS LAUGH; BACKDROP OF LOUD HOUSE; EPISODE ENDS]